How to be your best self from a state of ease

Ease creates. Urgency destroys.

~ Nancy Kline


Do you ever find yourself in a mad panic, feeling completely stressed about everything that is going on in your life? Do you sometimes find it hard to sleep? Do you feel anxious about the amount of things on your mind?

We operate so much more effectively when we are feeling relaxed and at ease, than when we are tense and stressed. It is possible to think more clearly and make more sensible decisions. We feel happier, more secure and come across more confidently to others. Nancy Kline talks about operating from a state of ease being one crucial element to create an environment where we can best think. This makes total sense.

If we are running round at 100 miles an hour with steam coming out of our ears, a bag of nerves and anxiety, it will affect our performance and our productivity as well as our health and wellbeing. We can experience how it magnifies mental and emotional anxiety we experience. We will definitely not be able to be operating as the best version of ourselves.

If we are comfortable within ourselves, it is much easier to operate effectively. It usually results in our best work and ideas. It allows us to respond in a clear and considered manner to each situation we are faced with and to make clear and rational decisions. It prevents us from making stupid mistakes where we have felt rushed to make a decision or response.

Feeling at ease does not mean that all of our challenges will instantly be resolved. Nor does it mean that we are operating at a slow or sleepy pace. It means that we are in the best frame of mind to make good choices that can help prevent and resolve many unnecessary challenges and unwanted situations. It’s about taking away the urgency and the panic and having time to consider our responses to every day situations.

So how do we ensure we operate from this state of ease:

1) Recognise

The first step is to acknowledge that you’re not at ease. As soon as you’re feeling anxious, frustrated, impatient, burdened, overloaded, angry, tense or any other similar unhelpful feeling that means you are not at ease, firstly just acknowledge this sense. Understanding how you’re feeling is the first step to dealing with it.

2) Stop

The second step is to physically stop. Take a moment to slow down, stop what you are doing and review your situation. If possible, step away from whatever is affecting your state of ease. Have a break from it and give yourself a chance to calm down. If that’s not possible, try to take a moment to think through how to respond rather than panicking and rushing into something you might regret later.

3) Breathe

Breathing sounds ridiculously simple but it is so important. Spending time taking big deep breaths can have a huge impact on calming you down. The biggest lesson I ever had in breathing was during a yoga class in Malta. I like a very energetic yoga class where you feel you have had a great workout, so in a particular class where we spent the first 30 minutes just breathing I started off feeling very frustrated wanting to get into the exercise. I couldn’t believe it at the end when the instructor asked how we felt, and I realized I felt absolutely amazing, relaxed and refreshed. 30 minutes of breathing had completely transformed my state.

4) Understand

Analyse what is causing your state of unease. Is there something specific that triggers it? Can you remove that trigger? Stress is your body’s reaction to the demands of the world around you. Different events or conditions in your surroundings may trigger stress. If you can understand what they are, you can begin to develop strategies to minimize them.

5) Talk

Be honest, share your situation, get advice from others. If you have awesome people around you they can help to ground you and keep you calm. There is no sentence more powerful than ‘can I please ask for your help?’.  Get reassurance and support from those closest to you to help you feel at ease.


If you’re not currently operating from a state of ease, hopefully this article might inspire you to try the suggested techniques and feel the benefits. Please share your experiences in the comments below.

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