My Book of Life

What is this?

This document was started in July 2016 as a result of an activity from the CoachMe VIP course I am taking part in.

The idea is to write a book that captures everything I think and believe and all that I have learned throughout my life. It is very relevant to Bestselfology as it focuses on how to become the best version of myself. I want to use this for 2 main reasons:

1) to remind myself what is important to me and to and to gather my beliefs together so I can continually develop them

2) to share ideas, tools and inspiration that have been useful to me

I love the idea that if for some tragic reason I lost all of my memories, this could be something that helped me remember who I am and what I think.

My Book of Life will constantly be updated and changed as my thoughts and ideas develop.

Some of the ideas are copied from other people who have created their own Book of Life as I agree with what they have said.

How to use this Book of Life

If you are reading this for the first time, read the chapters below for an overview of:

My beliefs and principles
My systems
My favourite ideas
Books and resources that have inspired me

Read this with the understanding that these are my beliefs and ideas and may be different from your own and this is fine.

Consider creating your own book of life. Feel free to copy anything from here that is helpful.

If you are a returning reader, check the change log at the bottom of the page for the most recent updates.

If you are Mel Johnson:

Develop a habit to use the book of life as a repository for beliefs and ideas that develop throughout the year
As often as you can re-read your opinions and build on them
At the beginning of every month, review the whole document, make any necessary edits, and write a new monthly report
At the beginning of every year archive the document and start the new yearly report

Chapter One: Beliefs, principles and values that guide everything

1: Meta-beliefs

Meta-beliefs are beliefs about beliefs
My belief about this document is that it will be useful and fun.
It’s purpose is to capture my beliefs about the universe.
This document will always be incomplete and out of date.
Some of my beliefs will be proven wrong.
I reserve the right to change my mind at any time about any of my beliefs.

2: Personal Principles

Earlier in the year, inspired by Gretchen Rubens personal principles I wrote my own:

I have reviewed them and they all still stand, but I have added a few more. These are the original principles:

1) Be confident to be Mel

2) Take 100% responsibility for me

3) Take immediate action

4) Take care of myself

5) Always learn

6) Live for today

7) Think big

8) Have adventures

9) Remember the small things

10) Always ‘make a plan‘

11) Be nice

12) Display positive energy

These are additional principles I aspire to live by:

Make the most of time
Be honest to myself and others
Stay true to my word
Have good intentions
Don’t dilly dally (I stole this one, but I love it!)
Live clutter free and detached from material possessions
Accept I am responsible for my own happiness
Strive towards my vision
Be the change I want to see (I stole this one too, but it worked for Gandhi so I think its a good one)

Chapter 2: Personal Systems

Systems and tactics for getting the most out of your life

1: Productivity

You can always ‘Make a plan’ In other words, there is always a solution to any problem, you just need to put your mind to it, to figure it out.
Make time for Deep Work
Defragment your calendar
Apply the Touch It Once Principle
Create a second brain so you don’t have to rely on your own brain for everything
There are 168 hours in a week, use them wisely

2: Happiness

You create your own happiness.
Spend time thinking about what makes you happy. Do more of what makes you happy and less of what makes you unhappy.
Fill in a Happiness planner on a weekly basis, to journal your happiness journey.
Travel makes me happy, keep travelling and having micro adventures.
Having a fulfilling morning routine makes me happy, work on perfecting my morning routine.

3: Health

Sleep well
Eat well
Don’t eat meat and limit junk food.
Exercise has so many benefits. Try to exercise at least 4 – 5 times a week, even if its just for 15 mins.
Limit alcohol
Drink enough water

4: Relationships

You are the average of the people you surround yourself with.
Only spend time with people who bring you higher.
You can choose your family. Your family are the people dearest to you in your inner circle.
Make time for your friends and remember the small things.
Talk to strangers
Be curious about everyone, don’t judge on 1st impressions
Make eye contact with everyone you meet
Don’t be afraid of people
Be fully present with people (not on social media)

5: Personal development

Learn something new every day
Write every day, publish a blog post every week
Have an up to date life vision and keep striving towards that vision
Read as many books as possible
Surrounding yourself with awesome people will help with your personal development

6: Tracking

Tracking your goals will make you more likely to succeed at them

Chapter 3: Work

Lessons for business, work and creating things

1: Career

You will be better at what you are passionate about
Try not to be driven by money, be driven by doing what you love, if you can make money as well it is a bonus.
Progression does not necessarily mean up
Strive to make a passive income and be location independent
I need to feel like I am ‘making a difference’

2: Business

Share your values and what you will and won’t accept immediately
Stay true to those values
Keep your word
Treat people fairly

3: Leadership

Role model leadership behaviours
Get continuous feedback
Let go of the detail and trust people
Recruit the best people
Develop people to be the best version of themselves
Don’t be scared to employ people who are better than yourself
Provide a safe environment where people feel comfortable and protected
Have a big vision and work relentlessly towards achieving it
Display positive energy. Don’t be brought down by other peoples negativity

Chapter 4: Ideas

I believe we create our own luck.
I think everything happens for a reason, but I think that it’s because you make it that way.
I love to think that the universe will make things happen for you, but I know it is because you make things happen for yourself. I just like believing in the universe!
After I read Free Will by Sam Harris I have decided that free will doesn’t really exist, but it’s easier to think it does.
I believe that pure altruism doesn’t exist, helping others usually makes you feel good, so there is an element of doing it for yourself. There are highly altruistic people, its just that being altruistic makes them feel good.
The universe is too big to understand in its entirety, so we just make sense of a tiny part of it that allows us to operate.
We can change our behavior and habits and build new habits over time with the right systems.
We can achieve anything we put our minds to.
People are happy if they are clear on their purpose in life.
People are not born with talent, talent comes from hard work and hours of practice.

Chapter 5: Fear Inventory

My fears are split into 4 areas:

Relationships, health, security, and passion

Relationships

People thinking I am stupid
People thinking I am boring
Not being liked
People thinking I am annoying
Other peoples judgment and that they think badly of me
People feeling sorry for me
Losing my family
Something bad will happen to my family
Commitment
Hurting others
Being alone
Being rejected
Having my heart broken
Settling for a partner then being unhappy

Health

Losing my health
Getting old
Losing my memory
Getting sick
Losing mobility
Injury that will reduce health and fitness

Passion

That I will not reach my true potential
That I won’t have a big enough impact on the world
Not making the most from life
Not knowing enough
Not achieving everything I want
Not being happy
Being a bad writer
Not fulfilling my full potential
Not making a success of Bestselfology
People laughing at what I have written
Not being admired by others
Which country to live in
Not following my passion

Security

Not having enough money
Not being able to pay for my flat and losing it
Making poor financial decisions
Making decisions based on security not passion
Not taking enough chances
Having no savings
We will destroy the planet
The world we are bringing children into

Chapter 6: My Life Script

My current script is:

I am a successful career woman who will always have a great job and will be able to succeed at anything I put my mind to
I am highly productive and can make great use of my time
I am good at meeting new people and can set up a social network wherever I go
I’m unlucky in love
I will be happy when I am so financially secure that I can start making decisions in line with my passion

I will continue to try and identify any other patterns that I see.

The parts of the script that I am rewriting for myself as an adults are: