‘If you aren’t getting rejected on a daily basis then your goals aren’t ambitious enough’
~ Chris Bixon
This quote had a powerful impact on my view of rejection. I have gone from hating to be rejected (does anyone really like it?) to becoming a lot more comfortable with it. This is mainly due to the fact that I have repositioned how I see it. I am now able to view it as a sign that I am living my life to the fullest. It is a key part of the process of having challenging goals and is to be expected.
Being rejected used to knock my confidence and sends me into overthinking overdrive! But why didn’t they like me, my ideas, my CV, my work, why am I not good enough etc..?
I am learning to move on from it quickly, accepting that whatever I was rejected from or whoever I was rejected by, it wasn’t meant to be and believing that something better is out there waiting for me. We will all be rejected from time to time throughout our lives. The more we put ourselves out there, the more likely we will experience rejection. The better we are able to deal with it, the easier life will be.
The best way to try to avoid rejection is to life a sheltered life and not take any chances. But this way you will also not live life to the fullest and will potentially miss amazing opportunities.
There are a number of ways you can deal with rejection more successfully:
1) Learn not to take it personally
Try to change your focus from over analysing why you were rejected, to focusing on the next steps to move on from it. This will change your focus from taking it too personally, to taking positive action. You might not feel happy about being rejected, but it is best to learn how to bounce back quickly without fixating on it.
2) See it as a badge of bravery
You can change the way you view rejection to turn it into a positive rather than a negative. To ensure that you are being ambitious enough, you should accept that you will get rejected from something every day. If you get used to receiving rejection and understand it is because you are trying so many things, it becomes much more normal and easier to deal with. In fact when you get rejected, you will realize it is because you are embracing life and the opportunities presented to you.
3) Use it as a development opportunity
It can be useful when you find yourself in a situation where you have been rejected, to use the experience as an opportunity to consider your current behaviours and identify ways to develop and grow. Ask for feedback then decide whether there is anything you can do act upon the feedback and develop yourself to make the outcome different in the future.
4) Look for the positive
Live by the mantra that everything happens for a reason. If you get rejected from something or by someone, accept that it is to let something even better into your life. You can usually find a positive angle to come from rejection.
5) Work on your self confidence
The more self confident you are and the more secure you are with how your life currently is, the easier you will find dealing with rejection. Spend time focusing on your self development. This will help you stop analyzing the reasons for rejection and move on.
6) Consider different outcomes
Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Being positive about your desired outcome is always recommended, but at the same time it can be helpful to keep your options open. This way if something doesn’t work out as you would have liked, you have already considered other alternatives and it won’t lead to you feeling totally devastated that your one and only option did not work out as you had hoped.
I’d love to hear from you about how you handle rejection in the comments below. Let me know if you find it possible to reframe it and see it as an outcome of you living live to the fullest, rather than something negative.