‘The unhappiest people in this world, are those who care the most about what other people think.’
~ C. JoyBell C
Most of us are guilty of worrying about what other people think of us. If we’re not careful we can end up spending way too much time considering how we come across to others, rather than focusing on being happy with ourselves.
It can be easy to fall into the trap of trying to fit in to how we think we should be. Blending in with the crowd, not being noticed, wanting to please others. Instead, let’s be fearless, behave like we once were as children and don’t pay attention to what others think of us. If we can crack this, we’ll be much more content.
Easier said than done right? Here’s a few tips to help stop worrying what others think of us:
1) Everyone is too busy thinking about themselves
The truth is everyone is too absorbed in themselves and their own situation that they are not paying any attention to us and what we’re doing. So many times when we confide in people that we were worried what they thought of us, we realize they were thinking exactly the same. We can spend considerable amounts of time thinking about how other people might be judging us, but very few people have any time or head space available to think about us, they are too busy thinking about themselves and their own shortcomings to worry about what we are doing. This is the biggest realization I have had that stopped me worrying what others thought.
2) Find your inner confidence
Everyone is different. We need to be happy with ourselves, no matter what anyone else thinks. If we are 100% happy with ourselves then it will be much less important to us what other people think. Check out My Book of Life for ideas on how to document your values and beliefs. Once we become clear on our values, it can help to become much more confident with ourselves and what we stand for.
3) Accept you can’t please everyone
We’ll never stop everyone from judging us as it’s impossible to live up to everyone’s expectations. There will always be people who aren’t satisfied, no matter what we do or how we behave. We might not be able to stop people judging, but we can choose how we react to it and choose to not let it affect us.
Worrying too much about what other people think can influence our behaviour. Spending too much time analyzing what others think and trying to accommodate them can have a negative impact, resulting in us becoming people pleasers rather than being true to ourselves. Try to spend less time analyzing what others think and more time focusing on whether we are happy with ourselves.
5) Know your values
If we can figure out what’s important to us in life, what we truly value, what we stand for and what matters to us, what other people think of us becomes significantly less important. When we are clear on our values, we have a strong ground to stand on and will worry a lot less about others judgments of us, as we know we are being true to ourselves.
If we surround ourselves with awesome people who are self-assured, and stay true to their values, this attitude will rub off on us. Awesome people won’t judge us, they will make us feel safe to air our own thoughts and feelings and be comfortable with being ourselves.
I’d love to hear in the comments below if you have managed to stop worrying about what other people think of you and how you did it.