‘To attract positive things in your life, start by giving off positive energy’
~ Celestine Chua
I’ve previously published a post about how to maintain positive energy, which provided tips on how to remain positive in general. You’ll always encounter negative people in your life, which may make staying positive more of a challenge.
I really struggle with negative energy and become very impatient when someone is moaning or being miserable. You can’t change a person’s behaviour, but you can change your reaction to it. Being more patient in these circumstances is something I am working on improving about myself.
I want to learn to stop reacting to others people’s behaviour and letting it influence me, ensuring I don’t make it my issue. I need a strategy on how to deal with negativity. With this in mind, I’ve detailed the best approaches I have found to handle negative behaviour:
1) Increase your positive energy
If someone around you is being negative, one of the best techniques I have identified is to become more positive. Energy is infectious and rather than getting impacted by the negative energy of others, if you can raise your positive energy it will hopefully start to rub off on those around you.
2) Ignore the negativity
Often the best approach is to learn to ignore other people’s negative energy, but this can be easier said than done. Try to let go of all judgment and just accept things for how they are. Observe it, don’t react to it or let it influence you. This way you are ensuring that you are not making someone else’s issue your own.
3) Look for the positive
Try to find something positive about the situation or look at it from the other persons point of view. Have a go at bringing up a new topic of conversation to lighten the mood. Alternatively encourage the person being negative to tell you something positive.
4) Take 100% responsibility for your own behaviour
One of the worst things to do is go around complaining about how much someone else’s negativity is affecting you as this only creates more negative energy. You are not responsible for how other people behave, you can only take responsibility for yourself and your own behaviour. Focus on your own energy not other people’s, don’t let someone else impact your energy levels.
5) Consider what your behaviour looks like
Try detaching yourself from the moment and look down over the situation to analyse how you are behaving and whether you are happy with it. So often our behaviours mirror that of those around us, you may find you are being negative because other people are acting in this way. Consider whether you are behaving in a way you find acceptable and if you are not, take responsibility to change it. I hate it when I am negative, so if I catch myself in this situation, I have a word with myself to stop.
6) Take a deep breath
If someones negative energy has frustrated you, don’t react too quickly. Take a breathe, count to ten and try to not let them impact you. There is a great mindfulness mediation app called Headspace which has a section called SOS that you can use in an emergency when you are feeling stressed. This can help you with a more considered reaction.
7) Walk Away
If you find yourself in a negative situation that you find draining, you can choose to walk away from it, if necessary from the entire friendship. By spending time with negative people, there is a chance that your thoughts and emotions will slowly become negative too. If you feel certain people in your life are too negative and not making you feel good, then be conscious of how much time you’re spending with them.
8) Call them out
Sometimes pointing out the negative behaviour can be really valuable for the person involved. Telling them, they are acting negatively and the energy is impacting you, may be all it takes for them to become more positive. Tell them what you have observed and the impact it has on you. Ask them what is wrong and whether there is anything you can do to help them. Maybe you can bring some positivity into their life.
No matter how many challenges we face in our lives and no matter how many negative and difficult people we have to deal with it is always better for us to identify what we can do differently rather than pointing out what they are doing wrong.
I’d love to hear how you handle negativity in the comments below.